Mommy The Journalist: February 2010

So there are some crazy things going on the news this morning, but since most of them are depressing I've chosen not to discuss them. I mean, c'mon. You guys really don't want to read ramblings about killer whales killing their trainers. 'Cause that's honestly the most interesting, although morbid, thing going on in the news world right now. I refuse to give way to the Winter Olympics, by the way. I enjoy watching them and all, but I don't go crazy over who wins the most medals. With that said, Go USA!

Anyway, I've gotten a lot of random friend requests on facebook here lately. I chalk it up to being friends with all my WTVY coworkers. So now viewers who apparently think my facebook is interesting are now my friends. But they're not the only random people I don't know who are now my friends. I think the meaning of that word should be changed... So, I've got all my friends divided into different lists. That way I'm not swamped with information I don't care about from people I don't really know. In fact, one of my lists is simply titled Unknowns. Appropriate, yes?

But enough about my unknown facebook friends. On to the purpose of today's blog. People do all kinds of things with Facebook these days, and that's all fine and dandy. But I use mine for the sole purpose of keeping in touch with my friends. My real friends, not my unknown friends. I'm not big into the applications, although I must admit there for awhile I was kind of addicted to FarmVille. Don't judge me. Anyway, for today's post I decided to compile a list of things people do on facebook that annoy me. Be warned, some of these can be conceived as petty.

1. Post Pictures of Their Kid as Their Profile Picture: I'm friends with you. Not your kid. When I'm scrolling through my different lists of friends I'm not necessarily reading the names. I'm looking at the pictures, and when I see a picture of a baby I'm immediately thrown for a loop. Your child's picture does not immediately tell me who you are.

2. Not Hit *SKIP* on Application Invitations: I don't care what applications you're into, be it that fish game, cafe game or mobster game. But please please please stop sending me invitations. I'm tired of blocking applications. And there's this one that I swear I've blocked upwards of 20 times but it keeps coming back!

3. Update Your Status Every 2 Minutes: Get a Twitter. Seriously. If I wanted to know every little thing you're doing, I would stalk you.

4. Don't Respond in a Timely Manner to Wall Posts and/or Messages: If I take time out of my day/night to write you in some form, the least you could do is acknowledge it. I'll even accept a one-word answer just so I know my craftily-worded message wasn't written in vain.

5. Create an Event and Invite Me to It Even Though I'm Not Part of the Group You Created it For: This one should be self-explanatory...

6. Invite Me to Be a Fan of a Politician's Page: The same goes for joining a politician's group. Don't shove your political views down my throat.

7. People Who Comment on Everything Just Because They Can: This does not make you cool. No. It just makes you annoying. Go away.

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This is why I create lists. To keep the people who do these things separated from all the normal people who use facebook as it was originally intended.

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Some of you may know this (I'm guessing more of you don't), but my dad was hospitalized on Thursday, which explains Friday's absent post. My mom and little brother were out of town so I had to deal with this situation pretty much on my own. Instead of being transferred to a bigger hospital, they decided to keep him in our local hospital, which was fine. I mean, it was a lot more convenient as far as being able to take care of the animals and get a shower and stuff like that.

Anyway, I spent four days with my sick dad. Three of them at the hospital. For the most part it was boring and a little scary, largely frustrating and quite uncomfortable at times, but there were a few interesting things to come out of those three hospital days that I decided to share with all my followers. So here it goes.

Adventures in a Small-Town Hospital

1. In a small town, everyone knows everyone. Sometimes it proves useful. Other times it's kind of annoying. Having people pop in to visit you wouldn't seem like a bad thing, right? Well, consider this: random people you don't really care to be around on a good day stopping in to see you and not shutting up even though it's obvious you're trying to sleep.

2. You want an attentive nurse, yes? One who checks on you fairly often, knows what they're doing and is friendly would be preferable, right? Well, you might change your mind after reading this.

The night nurse was all three of those things... times a bajillion. She was in the room every hour on the hour. Turning on lights. Talking loudly. Checking his blood pressure three times to make sure it was accurate. Checking his blood sugar in both hands to compare the numbers. Friday night she decided he needed to get up and walk. It was 4:30 a.m. She brought him a walker. He refused to use it of course. So she then proceeds to tie this belt-like leash thing around his waist "just in case". But she didn't hold onto it as he walked. 4:30 a.m. Just imagine that.

And no, she didn't look anything like the picture I chose. Nothing at all. Quite the opposite.

3. This is just a little sidenote anecdote kinda thing. The only reason this falls under my hospital adventures is that it happened in conjunction with a trip from home to the hospital and vice versa (I probably just screwed that all up. I've never been good at using vice versa).

The rear passenger side window in my car messed up so I was taking it home to swap to my dad's truck. Well, he's about a foot taller than me so I have to adjust the seat and the mirrors and the steering wheel before I can even begin to attempt to drive it. Now that we've got the issue of my shortness handled... I was on the phone with Chris (the guy I've been dating for about a month now) and he was making fun of my shortness. He asked how many phone books I was having to sit on to see over the steering wheel. Well, at the time of this question I was attempting to move the seat forward so I could reach the pedals. I say attempting because it wouldn't budge. My oldest brother was with me and we were trying to figure out what was wrong with the seat when we discovered, of all things, a phone book caught in the track up under the seat. I mean, it was like the seat had gotten hungry and decided it wanted some yellow pages for breakfast, that's how stuck it was.

Now, I'm sure reading that little description wasn't as funny as actually experiencing it, but let me assure you I laughed so hard I almost fell out of the truck. It was seriously the first time I laughed in three days.

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So there you have it. Some of my adventures in a small-town hospital. And you're caught up on the last four days of my life... sort of. I decided not to include the bad t.v. and all the fast food (especially the food run that resulted in me dropping a drink in the parking lot, causing said drink to explode and me to curse very loudly in front of several people... who I probably all knew) I consumed. I did lose some weight though...

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There never seems to be anything remotely fun to write about going on in the news these days. And all the survey-type things I find on Yahoo are dumb in my opinion. (If you're a fan, there are plenty of them on there right now. Knock yourself out.) Sure we have news, but it's all so serious [imagine that spoken in a really drawn-out monotone to get the full effect].

I was reading through the blogs I follow, and I almost decided to just dedicate today's post to directing what little bit of traffic I have to my favorite bloggers, but then I read Christina in Wonderland's latest post about the Rubik's Cube (fyi, it's pretty funny). So I decided that today's post would be a throwback edition.

I'm a kid of the 90s. I remember bowl-style haircuts, straight-legged jeans giving way to bell-bottoms, nano pets being banned at school, the boy band craze, and the original Snick. I remember all the neighborhood kids playing hide-and-go-seek in the summer until the porch lights came on. It was a time before video games and social media sites started their slow takeover of today's kids. Sure, we had a Nintendo, and yeah we probably spent too much time in front of it, but we also got up off our couches (and if we'd had them our computer chairs) and actually played outside in the dirt and sunshine. And that's what today's post is dedicated to: playing. Well, toys to be more specifically. And even more specific than that - the greatest toys of the 90s.

Polly Pocket: the original ones. You know, the ones that actually fit in your pocket. The ones they make today are nothing like what I played with. They're much bigger and more complicated. In a word, they're undeserving of the Polly Pocket title.

Now, to be honest, these guys are still around, and I'm sure there are still collector fanatics out there. But there's not as big a demand for these as there was back before I was in high school. I mean, these bean-filled plush animals were such a big deal McDonald's even had to get in on the action. People competed to see who could collect the most. It was beanie baby mania.

Furby: Okay, so these are kinda creepy now that I think about it. But back in the day these guys were cool. A real must-have. I never actually had one, but boy did I ever covet them!

Nano Pets: Everyone who was anyone had one of these, and if you didn't have one you were doing everything in your power to get one. These little virtual pets were all the rage back when I was in elementary school, fifth grade if I remember correctly. They got so popular and were causing such a distraction they were banned from schools all across the country. I had two - Salem the Cat from Sabrina the Teenage Witch (He was a horrible nano pet. Never made it through one night without dying.) and a dinosaur or something like that.

Those are my top four greatest 90s toys ever, but not all of those made the best-seller list.

Buzz Lightyear action figures (You know, from Toy Story. My brother had one that talked.)
Thunderbirds reissued & revamped Tracy's Island (I honestly have no idea about this one.)
Beanie Babies & Polly Pockets (Guess they were tied..?)
Teletubbies (I still think they're all gay.)
K'nex Construction Kits
Pokemon Trading Cards (Those have evolved into games for the Nintendo DS.)
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (I still contend that the original is the best.)

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Okay, so it's no secret women love shoes. Well, I guess not all women so let me correct myself and say most women love shoes. I inherited my love of shoes from my mom. If I could afford to support my love, I would have a pair of shoes for every outfit I own. More specifically, I would have a pair of heels in every color. Maybe it's because I'm short (seriously, I'm barely more than 5 feet) but I really do love heels, and I've always wanted a pair of red high heels (this is in no way a reference to the song). So two weekends ago I found the cutest pair ever and, since they were on sale, I bought them (and wore them the same day).

Anyway, on to the point. I was browsing Yahoo as usual when I came across this article - 9 Chic Shoe Rules. It was pretty interesting, albeit common sense. Basically what it did was give some basic, for lack of a better phrase, "how-to's" for wearing shoes.

1. If you can't walk in them, don't wear them. (This is common sense, ladies. Heels don't make you look sexy if you're limping.)

2. Wear brightly colored shoes to spice up an outfit. (Take for instance my new pair of red heels - I paired them with a simple black cocktail dress and, modestly speaking, turned quite a few heads).

3. Wear what's appropriate for where you are/what you're wearing. (When in doubt you really can't go wrong with a black pump... unless of course you're wearing brown.)

4. Don't wear stilettos to an outdoor event. (Unless, of course, you want to aerate the ground.)

5. Shoes = Statement. (In other words, be confident in your footwear.)

6. Va-va-voom shoes have their place. (Attention-grabbing shoes aren't your best choice for a daytime event.)

7. Match your heel height to your skirt length. (Case in point, a tall person wearing a short skirt with 3-inch stilettos.)

8. Wear flats with properly hemmed clothing. (You don't want to look sloppy, do you?)

9. It's all about balance. (Not the kind you need when you walk, although that is important - see #1. What we're talking about here is different types of heels balancing out a specific look. For example: if you're wearing a wispy frock a thin, delicate heel is a better choice than a chunky heeled shoe.)

And now for your viewing enjoyment, OMG Shoes!