I'm not really a big fan of reality television. For the most part I think it's television at its dumbest. It's all scripted drama and fake alliances that lead to nowhere other than a ring of torches and a hasty good-bye. Contests like Survivor and The Batchelor hold no appeal for me whatsoever.

But when it comes to Dancing With The Stars, I'm glued to the TV. I absolutely love this show, and it's not for any of the reality-television aspects. I like to watch the dancing. It's real dancing. Not "chest pops and booty dips" as Pussy Cat Dolls singer Nichole said on last night's premier.

This year's cast is pretty awesome. They've got Pam Anderson (who doesn't love her?) and Buzz freakin' Aldrin, which in my opinion is totally cool. He's an American hero. He walked on the moon and was a fighter pilot in the Korean War. Plus, he's 80-something years old!

I've always thought I wanted to learn how to ballroom dance, if only for the purpose of being able to waltz my way through the first dance of my wedding one day. Too bad this show is celebrity-based, although Kate Gosselin is basically a normal person. I imagine her performance last night is what I would look like... after a few weeks.

That being said, there are two guys that I would absolutely die to have as a partner.

He's a choreographic genius. Plus, he's hot. And funny. And I don't think anyone knows what to do with him. Here's my favorite dance EVER:

This is my other dance partner choice:

Last season he was partnered with Kelly Osbourne. They were my favorite couple. Here's their first dance.

I missed his dance last night, which makes me sad. I really like Louis. He's awesome and I would marry him. Seriously.

You know how people trash-talk the judges on American Idol? Totally not the case with these guys. I love these judges. They're quirky and honest and you always know what they want.

Len, the "hear no evil", is the traditional judge. If you do anything that's remotely modern, you can count on a verbal lashing in his lovely British accent. He's actually a really good ballroom dancer, which if you watch the season all the way through you'll get to see when he imparts some of his finesse to one of the final three.

Carrie Ann, the "speak no evil" judge, is kinda like what Paula Abdul was on Idol. Only her criticism is actually useful. And she sees everything. Missteps, dropped turns, you name it.

Bruno, the "see no evil" judge, is my favorite. He's so flamingly flambloyant. And if Len makes him mad, he'll up his score just for spite. But he's so excitable. You never know what he's going to do - jump up on the desk, chest pumps or booty dips. He's great.

So basically what I'm saying is, I'm addicted to this show. I actually schedule things around this one. And I think you should, too. It comes on Monday nights on ABC at 8:00 EST.