Take a Risk

I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot.

Ralph W. Emerson

Part of working in the world of journalism is putting yourself out there, whether it's on-camera or behind the scenes before, during or after the newscast. This isn't a profession for the faint of heart.

Everything we do is scrutinized.

I really love what I do. So much, in fact, that I put a little of myself into every newscast I produce. The way the stories flow from one anchor to another... the way the information is presented. That's all me. I may not be on-camera, but I'm there in every story that hits the air.

Sometimes my ideas don't work out. Sometimes viewers complain about what they see or hear.

With every newscast I put together, I'm putting myself out there for so many people to see.

Can you say the same for yourself?

Frustration!

frustration: n. a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems

With the exception of depression, that pretty much sums up the hour leading up to my last show.

Usually, my goal is to have everything for the 10:00 newscast finished by 9:00 -scripts edited, videos cut, teases written - so I can post all my new news to our website before I go downstairs. It's all in an effort to clock out as soon as the show is over and go home.

But that didn't happen tonight.Remember when I talked about the calm before the storm? Tuesday night was a prime example of this.

That last hour before the show was definitely the storm.

Our lead story was a package about the trial of a woman accused of kidnapping a 7-month-old baby last year.One of our bureau reporters put this story together and sent it to us over our shared server.

But guess what?

The video was completely unusable. You know how when you look through a camera you can see the box outlines of what you're capturing, along with the battery life icon, record icon and other various things? All of her video from the courthouse had that in it. And to top it all off, it had this frustrating digitized green bar things throughout the whole thing.

So my two-minute lead story got cut down to a 40 second, horrible compilation of the few still shots we could salvage. Much thanks to my sports guy for his patience in helping me with the intricacies of video editing [that I was never taught] and my anchors for their help in finishing editing the scripts.

The show itself went rather well, though. It was nice and calm, with no mistakes... other than my live reporter calling the female anchor by the male anchor's name.

But by that point, we all needed a laugh.

Change

The leaves are starting to change colors in southern Alabama, and I don't mean to that burnt-brown color that happens when it's a bajillion degrees outside. I mean it's officially fall and it actually feels like it.

That is to say, I can step outside and not break out in an instant sweat glisten.

It's great!

I finally erased my former friend from my life, a.k.a. facebook and phone.

I guess the changing of the seasons just seemed an appropriate time to end something that's definitely not benefiting my life.

I finally feel free from that memory.

So here's to a future full of happiness and excitement and love.

A bright future filled with people who care about me all the time instead of just when it suits them.

Here's to me.

Friday Night Football

I survived my third experience with Friday Night Football.

For those of you that don't know, football is king of fall in the South. Case in point, every Friday night during high school football season the television station I work for has a half-hour show dedicated solely to just that.

Basically, FNF blows up the newsroom. What is normally a dull roar intensifies into a full-blown cacophony of shouting, laughter, phones and frantic running around [much like a flock of headless chickens].

And I'm expected to produce a normal newscast right smack dab in the middle of it all.

I'm quite literally in the middle of it all. The guy who calls out [or shouts] all the scores sits at the desk directly in front of mine. The main newsroom phone is on the column that's diagonally in front of my desk. And the food, well the path to it goes by my desk.

You know all those old movies that depict newsrooms as crazy-busy chaotic? That's what FNF looks like.

And aside from being in the middle of all the craziness, I have nothing to do with the production aspect of it.

When my show ends, the director hands me a rundown with their times and I get control of the prompter. My job morphs into prompter girl mixed with official time-keeper. And let me tell you, it's not easy. They don't follow what the prompter and they're always over on time.

It's a harrowing job, but someone's got to do it.

At least there's free food.

Behing the Scenes V

As you guys know, I've moved to a different shift, which means instead of one two-hour long show I work on two 30-minute shows. That means less time spent in the control room on my part so there's fewer opportunities for something funny/crazy/just-plain-wrong to happen.

But sometimes I get lucky.

Director: [scratching his arm] Man this thing itches!

Me: Did you get a new tattoo?

Director: Yeah.

Me: Don't scratch it! That just makes it worse.

Director: I'm just using the flat side of my fingernails.

Me: You need some of that special tattoo lotion.

Director: I've been using what they recommended.

Me: They didn't give you any?

Director: They didn't have any.

Me: Where'd you get it?

Director: The place by the gay bar.

Me: They should - you know what, I'm gonna leave that one alone.

Meanwhile, the graphics op is dying laughing.

Life of Me III

I love when Google teaches me something new!

If you've been with me for awhile, and even if you haven't, you're probably no stranger to my hate dislike of posting stories to our website. It's mainly because it's a big hassle, and in the past three or four weeks it's been more of a hassle than normal.

As a producer, I have to post all the stories not written by reporters to the website. Now, our new GM would prefer that I do this before my show goes on the air, which quite frankly baffles me. See, my line of thinking goes something like this: if our viewers have full access to everything they would see in the newscast before it airs why would they bother to sit down and contribute to our ratings?

Back to the topic at hand... since I post the stories I get from the national wires and our shared reporters [we have two], that means I have to take the time to reformat them for the website.

Before I got my new desk, I had the oldest computer in the newsroom. That means I was using a friendly version of Microsoft Word to reformat my stories for the web.

To reformat these stories, I have to change the case of the text. See, our scripts are in all caps because it's easier to read on the teleprompter. However, if I posted something to the website in all caps, IT WOULD SEEM LIKE I WAS YELLING AT YOU. Understand? I thought so.

On my old computer with the older version of Word, there was a lovely little function that would change the text case for me.

But when I moved to my new desk three weeks ago, I moved to a newer computer, one equipped with a newer version of Microsoft Word. [The version that I don't like, actually.] This version is completely different from the version I'm used to working on and for the past three weeks I was unable to find that lovely little change case function.

So I've been having to retype every. single. story that runs in my show before it can be posted to the web.

Until today. Today I got smart. Today I went to Google and searched Microsoft Word 2007 change case. And wouldn't you know it? The first result that popped up was exactly what I needed!

Learn something new every day, eh?

Just Let Go

You know the saying 'never let go of something you can't go a day without thinking about'?

How many of us are living our lives by that motto? How many of us don't know when to say enough is enough?

I most often hear people quote that motto when referring to a love interest, but what about just a regular friendship? Should we keep holding onto something that's disintegrating or even completely gone on one end?

Recently I wrote about the rise and fall of one of the most important friendships of my life. But, like most people, I just can't seem to let go of what we don't have anymore.

I know there's no point in sending him a text every now and then just to say hi. I know he won't respond. But does that stop me? No.

Take today, for instance. I saw his latest facebook status and short of copy and pasting it word-for-word... it was pretty bleak. Naturally, my first instinct was to shoot him a text asking if he's ok. No response.

Why do I keep getting my hopes up?

Why can't I make that final cut, remove all temptation to keep trying?

Just because I can't stop thinking about what used to be our friendship, doesn't mean I should continue to hold onto it. Right?

Calm Before the Storm

You've heard of the calm before the storm.

In this instance, let's consider my newscast as the impending storm and the time leading up to it as the calm.

You would think that the actual newscast would be a frenzy of excitement, nerves and possibly frustration. And sometimes that's true if we have live shots that fall through or the server crashes in the middle of the show. But more often than not, the show itself is calm.

You see, by the time we make it to showtime everything is set. Or as set as it's going to be. That is to say, you've got all that you're going to have and you know what you're working with. Your show is ready.

The time leading up to the show, now that's the stormy part.

Stories fall through, reporters are late getting back, computers crash. It's a rush of craziness right up until deadline. It's an atmosphere that breeds stress, loud noises and frayed nerves.

You have to survive the storm to experience the calm.

Death by Stairs

I have to walk up these monsters every day.

Followed by these:

I've fallen down my fair share of stairs.

Once when I was little, I slid down my dad's backporch steps on my back. As cool as that sounds, it was not on purpose.

When I was 3, I rode my toy pony down the back steps and broke my arm. That one was on purpose. His name was Patches, and he wanted to go outside.*shrug*

When I was in 8th grade, I went on a church trip to Ruby Falls. To get to the lake you had to walk down these wooden stairs that had one flight that led to a deck and then another flight down to the beach. I missed the first step at the very top and rolled down to the deck and into the back of someone's legs. It was a good thing, too. If that person hadn't been standing there, I would have continued rolling through the deck railing and onto the rocks below.

 When I got home from work Wednesday night, I walked up my monster stairs only to realize I'd forgotten something in my car. So I turned around and began the descent. I made it down the top flight without incident [that's the one with a railing]. But when I was halfway down the stone stairs, something happened.

Suddenly I was completely off balance. I missed two steps... then a couple more. I ended up taking a flying leap -in heels- over the last three, maybe four steps barely clearing the last.

I thought I was going to die.

Outgrowing Stereotypes

I've lived in the South my entire life. 23 years and 10 months, to be exact.

In that time I've grown accustomed to the misconceptions people have about this part of the country. That doesn't mean I agree with or like the stereotypes I'm so often judged by.

All my life I've had to listen to people belittle our education systems, make fun of our accents and question the validity of our morals. And the worst part is that the majority of people making those assumptions have never actually been here.

Last night, one of our newest reporters made a comment about the number of single mothers he's seen here. [Keep in mind he's only been living here a few months.] That prompted a discussion about how antiquated the South is in terms of values, which somehow led to a conversation about how Southerners think they have to or need to get married at an early age. That, in turn, led to discussion about divorce rates and how they must be higher in the South because of our rush to get married.

Of course this prompted a rather heated discussion in the newsroom, the specifics of which aren't important. However, it should be noted that he was definitely outnumbered.

Now I can't speak for everyone who lives in the South, but I don't think I'm supppsed to get married right now and start having babies. I'm also pretty sure that when the divorce rate was calculated, it was using numbers from the entire country.

It bothers me when people make generalizations about an entire group of people based off of preconceived misconceptions. People can't all be lumped together. And it's unfair of someone to form an opinion based on stereotypes.

I think it's so sad that people would rather indulge in stereotypes than actually get to know people. And I know what people say about stereotypes having some grain of truth to them, but to be honest more often than not that's simply not true.

People are afraid of things that are different from what they know. Instead of accepting it, they ridicule and belittle what they simply don't understand. And what's truly lamentable is the utter lack of desire to even try.

Always Remember

September 11, 2001

Nine years ago today, four planes were hijacked. Two crashed into the World Trade Center's twin towers in New York City. Another crashed into the Pentagon in Arlington, Va. Passengers on the fourth attempted to regain control of the aircraft, bringing it crashing down in a field in Shanksville, Pa.

Some 3,000 people lost their lives in those attacks. And the world as most of us knew it changed.

I can remember that day like it was yesterday. Nine years isn't really that long of a time period, and when you're young [teenage to early 20s] the passing of time seems so much faster than it actually is.

I was in 9th grade, 14-years-old. The announcement was made during first period -Leadership Skills. The towers fell during third period -Horticulture [I had a weird schedule that year]; class was pretty much canceled while we gathered around the t.v.

I'm sure every American who's old enough to remember that day can remember what he or she was doing. You don't forget something like that. But what we were doing isn't what we should all be remembering.

We should be remembering the act itself, the lives that were lost, the bravery that was displayed by those who risked their lives to save all those survivors.

And while we remember that day, we shouldn't do so with hate.

I'm sure by now you've all seen, read or heard about the pastor from Florida who planned to burn Korans today in response to the proposed building of an Islamic community center two blocks away from Ground Zero.

Now, I understand that building a mosque that close to the site of a terrorist attack carried out by Islamic extremists is like a slap in the face to survivors and the families of those who died, but Islam as a whole does not operate that way. In fact, it's a peaceful religion that happens to be much older than Christianity.

The United States was founded on a principle of freedom. Included in that freedom is the freedom of religion. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the exercise thereof.

Currently, Rev. Terry Jones of Gainesville, Fla., has postponed the Koran burning. Today he is in New York meeting with the Imam to discuss the possibility of relocating the community center.

If you ask me, all of this is ridiculous. Should we as a nation condemn an entire religion because a handful of extremist terrorists decided to target us? Should we fight hate with more hate?

One day I hope we can look back on September 11, 2001, and see the progress we've made as a people. I hope that on that day we will all have come to realize that we're more than the borders that separate us, the religious books we draw hope from or the languages we speak. I hope our history teachers will tell our children's children that the hatred that led to and rose from that day eventually dissipated. And I hope that we, as people, will no longer fight hate with more hate.

Life of Me II

I've been thinking a lot about confidence lately.

It's something that I've always kind of taken for granted, you know? My mom, dad and brothers all have an abundance of self-confidence so it only makes sense that I should have a healthy dose as well. But not everyone is so lucky.

Last week I spent my time at work training the new morning show producer, and I've got to be honest - I really didn't have a clue as to what I was doing. I've always known teaching wasn't my calling, so I set out on a wing and a prayer and hoped talking my way through the show a few times would do the trick.

But I quickly realized that there was something missing from my brilliant plan. Somehow, some way I needed to help my replacement build up her confidence.

If you think about it, self-confidence is a key ingredient in success. As cliche as that sounds, it really is true.

Think about it: if you don't believe in yourself, you don't usually put forth much effort, which generally means you're not going to do very well.

And here's some more food for thought... think about all the guys/girls you know that it seems like everybody wants. What's the most stand-out thing about them? I'll give you a hint. It's not their looks so much as their confidence [although I hate to admit it having a pretty/handsome appearance can sometimes help boost confidence levels].

When I actually take the time to look around me and pay attention to how people treat one another, it becomes fairly obvious the central role confidence takes. Whether it's someone having a confidence overload and walking around with a big head, someone with low self-esteem constantly taking stabs at other people's morale, or someone who's got enough confidence to hold their head up high... confidence is a big deal in not only how we see ourselves, but how other people see us.

So last week I was faced with the challenge of building up the confidence level of our newest producer. It's one thing when you know someone can be successful, but a whole 'nother thing getting them to realize it. And as crazy as this is going to sound, sometimes you have to be almost mean to do that.

I asked my mom, who is a teacher, what she does when she has a student that is capable of not only doing the work but also excelling at it who doesn't believe in themselves. In short her answer was much like the 90s song - sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind.

In other words, I had to basically create an environment where my trainee didn't have the opportunity to ask me how to do every little thing. In essence I created a sink-or-swim scenario in which she had to rely on herself.

It worked.

Whenever we find ourselves in what appears to be an impossible situation, we tend to draw upon our inner reserves, whether it be strength, wisdom or ability. It's those impossible situations that teach us our worth and [hopefully] keep us humble in the process.

And although I hope you've all got friends you can without-a-doubt rely on when times get tough, in the end I'm not so naive as to not realize that we've all got to first rely on ourselves.

And I think that if we spent more time building each other up, we'd all be in a better place. But that's just me.

Pony Bomb

Bomb threats are no joke, especially when it comes to schools [or are they?]. I can remember sitting outside in the hot summer sun when I was in eighth grade for the better part of a day after some idiot called in a bomb threat to the high school across the street. It took the bomb squad hours to search the school and determine that there really wasn't a bomb.

On Tuesday, an elementary school in Orange County, Fla., had a similar experience. But it wasn't because some sicko called it in. Instead, the bomb squad was called in for... a stuffed pony.

Watch this:

What an exciting last ride for that pony, right? He certainly went out with a bang!

[Ok, I'm done with the cliches.]

The best part? It was later determined the pony wasn't a threat.

We ran this story as our 10:00 kicker. At the end of it, the female anchor says, shaking her head, "Poor kid."

Meanwhile, little Johnny is crying his eyes out over the loss of his toy pony...

Today is the Day

Today is the day of new beginnings. It's the day I officially say goodbye [fondly] to yesterday and embrace a new path. Today is the day I become the 6:00 and 10:00 producer.

That's right. I'm closing, but not locking, the door that separates the morning show from the rest of the newsroom and opening the door that leads to what amounts to a whole new world. I'm leaving a world of moonlight that fades into sunrises and embarking into a world of sunshine that fades into sunsets.

It's pretty wild.

Today is also the day my little fledling producer tested her wings. It was her first overnight on her own, the day she had to rely on herself and her abilities. The day, I hope, that she realized she has the makings of a good producer. And the day that I either passed or failed as a teacher.

Today is just another day in a series of days that turn into weeks that will turn into months that will turn into years and eventually become a lifetime.

Today is the day.

Pinky Promise

Friends: synonyms - comrade, chum, crony, confidant

The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover. (Joseph Addison)

One of my best friends got married recently. She and her boyfriend husband eloped actually. [I was one of the few people they told.] Since they didn't have a wedding, their families decided to have receptions: one in Alabama for her family and one in Virginia for his. Hers was this past weekend.

For two weeks I stressed over how I was going to get to the reception. It wasn't a matter of money. It was a matter of me having a horrible sense of direction, an almost 4 hour drive and not having anyone to ride with. In the end though, my mom [who my friends call their second mama] was able to make the trip with me. And it was an incredibly rewarding one.

If you've ever been on a road trip, then you know how they have an odd way of turning into a learning experience. I don't mean that as a 'learning a lesson' kind of thing. But you learn things about the people you travel with and sometimes [if you're lucky] you learn things about yourself. This weekend's mini road trip was no exception.

At some point during the trip my mom said something very profound: If you have one or two good friends come to your wedding, you're lucky.

She's so right. Do you guys remember when I talked about things I've learned throughout the course of my life? One of those lessons was that true friends are hard to find and even harder to keep. People find their friend soulmates at different points in their lives - sometimes in high school, others in college, and some later in life. But no matter when you make them, circumstances don't always stand in your favor.

Over time, distances develop and you find yourself physically separated from those people who really get you. Seeing each other every day fades into every other week, once a month and sometimes once or twice a year. Your lives and careers will send you in different directions, but if your friendship is true a little road trip isn't that big of an obstacle.

Do you remember when the pinky promise was sacred? How you and your friends used to pinky promise that you would always be friends, no matter what? Can you back up that promise?

When a friendship reaches the point of no return... well, there's only one chance of redemption. You'll ignore past signs of disappointment and keep your fingers crossed for a happy outcome. Sometimes you'll be pleasantly surprised. Sometimes you won't.

When you come to realize your true friends, count yourself very lucky. Then hold onto them. And hopefully you'll start to realize that the universe isn't just about you.

And then, when you make that pinky promise to be best friends forever, actually keep that promise. Seeing your best friends' happiness on their wedding day is truly one of the greatest rewards you can have in life.

Want to Know a Secret?

I'm about to share my secret weapon in the fight against staying awake all night long for work.

Mountain Dew

Yep. That's right. It's not just a soft drink. It's my life-line when it comes to lasting until the sun comes up.

Why not energy drinks? 'Cause I'm sure that's what you're wondering. Well, I'll tell ya.

They taste gross.

Mountain Dew tastes yummy. All that caffeine and sugar combined?! It's like an adrenaline rush in a can! 

But seriously. Mountain Dew has been my life-saver for six months straight plus for three months last year. 

Tonight is [hopefully] the last night I'll have to rely on its kick-in-the-pants energy boost to make it through a day night at work.

Proof That Yawning Is Contagious

Working overnight does some crazy things to your body, especially when it comes to your internal clock. I should know 'cause that's what I've been doing five nights a week since January. When I'm getting ready to end my day, most other people are just starting to wake up including the few people I actually work with. And that means lots of yawns and cat-like stretching in the control room.

Now it's easy to prove that yawning is contagious when you're in close quarters. I mean, we've all done it - seen someone sitting across the table or heard someone nearby yawn and shortly after found ourselves yawning. And it doesn't really matter if you're tired.

That's not how I'm going to prove to you that yawning truly is more contagious than an STD. No, I've got something much more... impressive.

One day last week, I forget which, I was driving home tired as usual. There was heavier traffic than there usually is that early in the morning so I was a little more attentive to my surroundings when I got stopped at a red light. For some reason I noticed the truck sitting opposite me in the turn lane.

Their turn light turned green so he turned in front of me. As he did, he yawned. A huge, face-splitting yawn.

And that's when I felt it. Somehow his yawn had transferred from his truck, across traffic and into my car.

Unbelievable.

Life of Me

I've been working in broadcast journalism, a.k.a. television news, since the end of last September. So nearly a year now, which seems like a pretty decent amount of time right? But considering I'm working in a field I didn't go to school for and had absolutely no plans of going into, a year isn't all that long.

I feel like I've learned a lot in that time and I've established myself as a producer, at least within my station.

But I never really thought I'd ever be asked to train someone. It's a totally new and almost bizarre concept for me. Sure, I've trained people before but nothing like what I've been doing this week.

I mean, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing! I feel like a rookie trying to tell a newborn how to do my job...

There was a point in my life [when I was very young] when I thought I wanted to be a teacher. Then I figured out that I'm not very good at teaching. I can show people how to do things, but when it comes to actually explaining the process I usually end up stumped.

Last summer I wrote a college-level guide to using Adobe Photoshop and InDesign, as well as a quick reference of journalism rules, in the form of a Student Publications Handbook to leave for my successors on the yearbook staff.

That task, not unlike the one I'm faced with now, basically consisted of me breaking down the things I did every day into step-by-step instructions, as if the person who was reading the finished product had never used a computer before. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done [and that includes writing a 20 minute research paper on Spanish publications in the U.S. completely in Spanish].

I'm trying to take that same approach to training my replacement so that my show, my baby so to speak, is left in capable hands. After all, as those of you who've stuck with me through my television journey know, I've worked extremely hard to get the morning show to where it is today. I don't want it all to go down the drain as soon as I swap shifts. That would be irresponsible and a little too close to failure for my comfort.

So instead of breezing through my nightly duties, I'm trying to take things extra slow and be extra deliberate in my actions, all while talking them through. The first night I just let her watch. The second night [today], I let her get her hands dirty and kind of get a feel for what's going on with everything. Tomorrow I'm going to let her try to produce the entire show, with me right there next to her of course.

If she's comfortable with everything at the end of Friday's show, I'll officially move to my new schedule and new shows on Monday.