Think of Me
Nowadays you can't turn on a t.v. without seeing an internet dating commercial, and if you're like me you're probably thinking something along the lines of desperate. At least that's what I used to think.
A match.com or eharmony commercial would interrupt my favorite show and I'd all but scoff, thinking I'm not desperate enough for a relationship to resort to the internet.
But then I started really looking at myself and my options, and what I realized was pretty astounding but not all that surprising.
I don't go out. I'd rather stay at home or hang out with a few close friends. The few times I do go out, I don't really socialize with new people. In fact, I suck at meeting people. I get all shy and don't know what to say and usually just end up sticking with the people I already know.
The friends I have now are people I had class with, people who lived in the same building as me or people I work with. I'm out in the real world now so meeting people through class isn't an option. I've tried to be all neighborly with the people who share my complex, but they don't return the favor. And dating a co-worker is a definite no.
So what's a girl to do when she reaches that point in life when she wants to meet someone worth putting her heart on the line for?
A friend of mine recommended a more localized internet 'dating' site, one that didn't charge a membership fee and that people from this area use. I filled out a questionnaire and set my limits on who could contact me, i.e. must be single and not just looking for sex.
I have to admit, I was pretty skeptical at first. I looked through most of the profiles I was matched with only to be disappointed... until I clicked on Chris' page.
I read his bio and about his interests and saw that we shared a lot of the same values.
I looked through the few pictures he'd uploaded and thought, 'hey he's pretty cute.'
I rounded up my mom and got her to come take a look and offer encouragement for me to send him a message.
No joke, while I was looking at his page contemplating whether I should write him... the message indicator popped up... with a message from him.
We started messaging each other through the site. Then we exchanged phone numbers and moved to texting.
After awhile of that, we decided to go on a first date. I was so nervous, but it was unlike any other first date I'd been on. There was none of that awkward silence or question time to worry with. We'd already done the usual first-date interviewing via the internet.
We've now been together 9 months.
Using the internet to meet a potential significant other isn't something I recommend for everyone, especially young people [they need to learn how to have real relationships outside of their phone/computer]. It's something people like me - immersed in their career and not wanting to meet someone at a club/bar - can use to put themselves out there. It opens up a line of communication that might not otherwise be available.
It's a way of taking that talking phase [whatever that means] to the next level. It's a modern way of playing the field.
So the next time you scoff at an online dating site, think of me.
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6 comments
Aw :) I'm also on an Internet dating site, and I've actually found the people on there to be far more sane and appropriate than women my friends have tried to hook me up with. While you never know if you're going to "click" with someone, at least you can immediately rule out people for certain reasons (smoking, into drugs, never wants kids, etc.).
ReplyDeleteAwh I'm happy it worked out for you!
ReplyDeleteIt's fun, but the people in my area are all sorostitutes or rednecks, so no dating for me!
ReplyDeleteAw... and don't take that lightly. I don't do that often. :) But seriously, I'm with ya. Internet dating can be a good way to meet people if you stay really busy...
ReplyDeleteI've thought about it lately. I mean, not because I'm busy, but because I'm socially awkward and people don't tend to like me and, well, never mind.
Aw. I used to consider online dating a desperate move too. But that was before I read this post. I think I should try signing up for one. I mean, what have I got to lose?
ReplyDeleteThough I'm not good at meeting new people either.
@Steve: Exactly. It eliminates some of that first-date awkwardness that comes when you find out something completely non-attractive.
ReplyDelete@Emily: Thanks!
@Richards: Gotta watch out for those sorostitutes...
@Christina: But if they got to know you through correspondence first... it could work!
@Gnetch: That's what's so perfect about it! You're not actually *meeting* the person yet! You're just corresponding with him.