Mommy The Journalist: February 2012

In light of recent events surrounding one of my posts, I feel this entry is necessary.

My family is not perfect, nor would I ever say that we are. Like every other family in the world, we have our problems. Some are major. Others are trivial. We've dealt with drugs, death, divorce and even feuds, but I feel as if I should clear some things up when it comes to a story I recently posted.

I am well aware of what domestic abuse is. I am also aware of dangerous dating techniques. I don't support either, regardless of it involves one of my family members, one of my friends or a complete stranger.

I will say this one more time concerning that post: my grandparents were not engaged in an abusive relationship, nor did my grandfather use attempted murder as a way of getting my grandmother to be with him, nor would she have responded to that sort of tactic in the first place. For a complete stranger to interpret that story in such a negative fashion is a serious blow to me personally.

Either I really sucked at delivering that story in a positive, upbeat way, or that person just grossly misinterpreted it and then ran with her assumptions and even posted a blog of her own using parts of my story to describe an unhealthy relationship.

As a journalist I am a firm believer in the First Amendment. Free speech is a vital part of my every day life. However, before I open my mouth or put my fingers on my computer keyboard, I verify my facts. I would never offer up an assumption with such far-reaching implications as the one I've been handed recently without some hard facts, especially if I had never met the family in question.

I believe I am an ethical person. I strive to tell the truth as I know it and to be tolerant of other peoples' opinions. I deal with people in my daily job who test the limits of ethics and my patience. Their ignorance and self-importance is often something to be reckoned with, but for the most part I always keep a level head ... but of course they're not making untrue statements about my family.

So I'm done with this situation. Obviously you will believe what you want to believe at the end of the day. All I can hope is that my writing skills improve to a level of such clarity that when I tell a happy, romantic story about one of my relatives it will be perceived as such.

Happy Monday.

It's February, a.k.a. the month of love and relationships, so all this month, in addition to the stuff I normally blog about, I'm also going to talk about relationships - loves, friendships, family and work-related.

No matter the relationship, there's always the possibility it will come to an end, permanently or temporarily. The finality of the ending is up to the parties involved, but the decision doesn't have to be mutual. It only takes one person not wanting the relationship to continue for it to end, but in order for it to last or be rekindled both parties have to want it.

Let's talk about those temporary hiatuses from a relationship. They can be caused by anything, and most times they're painful for at least one involved party.

Sometimes we don't want these relationships to end, especially in the ways that they do. We hold onto the memories, torturing ourselves and trying to figure out what went wrong where and how we could have fixed it. Eventually we resign ourselves to it and move on with our lives ... until that person comes back.

Sometimes the offense is easily forgivable and you can start right where you left off. Other times, it's not like that at all.

Sometimes so much time has passed and you've worked so hard to forget the hurt that even the thought of letting that person back in is difficult to wrap your head around.

It's not that you don't want to rekindle your friendship or relationship. No, it's not that at all. It's just that you've worked so hard to not need that person anymore and now you don't know where they fit into your life, and by letting them back in you're opening yourself back up to be hurt again.

So what do you do?

My advice? If you really do want to renew the relationship, be up front about your concerns. If the other person is serious about wanting to make things right, they'll understand and be considerate of your feelings. Then take it one day at a time, allowing time for trust to be built back up. There's no certain time frame in which you have to re-achieve the level of companionship you had before.

Remember that people make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are big, other times they are insignificant. In the grand scheme of things, few mistakes are so horrible that they can't be forgiven.

Ultimately it is up to you to look into your heart and determine if there's still a place in it for this past friend or lover. There's no right or wrong answer, but I firmly believe that certain people are brought into your life for a reason. Maybe they're meant to be a part of your life forever, maybe they're meant to teach you something. Whatever the reason, don't you owe it to yourself to at least find out?