My (Short) Rant on Guns

A gun is an inanimate object. It is incapable of inflicting harm on anyone or anything on its own. It is not inherently good or evil by itself. It takes on the traits of whatever person decides to use it.

Evil exists in our world. It always has and always will, but not in inanimate objects. It is human nature, however, to place the blame for evil acts on inanimate objects.

I own a pistol. I practice shooting it a few times a year and am a decent shot. It stays next to my bed, mainly because I believe in my right as a person to protect myself if need be.

With that being said, do I believe that an ordinary person should be able to walk into a store and buy an automatic rifle? Absolutely not.

Our country's gun control laws need to be looked at. There needs to be a standard, across-the-board set of regulations that are actually enforced.

But do I believe revised gun control laws will stop evil from happening? No.

Evil doesn't follow rules or regulations. It never has, and it never will.


If you're one of the people who believes all guns should be outlawed, good for you. I don't dispute your views and I'm certainly not attacking them. Please don't waste your time telling me how bad guns are in the comment section. Let's just agree to disagree.

Behind the Scenes: Numb

Members of the media see bad news every day. After awhile it has a numbing effect. You tend to brush off the robberies and burglaries, shake your head at the drug arrests and related shootings. Chalk it all up to a harsh world and the fact that your job is caught in the crossfire.

Friday, December 14th, was a hard day for America. Instead of buying presents, the families of 20 children will be buying coffins. And aside from those families directly affected by the senselessness of this tragedy, no one felt the horror of that day more so than the media - forced to watch the tragedy unfold all day long.

We'll be criticized for the way we handled our coverage. We always are in these situations. We'll be called insensitive, tasteless, emotionless. But in all truthfulness, we were just doing our jobs -- and there is no easy way to cover these situations.

Doctors and other experts will diagnose Adam Lanza as mentally ill. The media will dutifully relay that diagnosis to our viewers because it's our duty. We won't call this man what we really want to - a monster, evil.

I'd be lying if I said stories like these don't affect us.

You can turn the channel when you've had enough of a particular story. We spend the entire day, sometimes weeks and even months, reliving these stories over and over again.

We may not call these monsters out for what they are. We may not shed tears while we're on the air. But that doesn't mean we haven't been affected, that we don't feel the heartbreak.

Maybe I'm reaching, but our jobs are one of the hardest in the world. We may not relay bad news one-on-one to those who are directly affected by it. We don't take on that huge responsibility.

We just have to relay the news to everyone else.

It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.
Buddha

Behind the Scenes: No Comment

Members of the media aren't expected to have opinions, but when it comes down to it that expectation of impartiality is probably the hardest journalistic character trait to embody.

I speak from personal experience when I say it is impossible for news people to be impartial. We are human. We have opinions. Most importantly, we're allowed to have opinions. Where things get tricky is when we're allowed to express those opinions.

This week, one of our anchors expressed his opinion on the air about this year's college football bowl game assignments. As a producer, this is something I wouldn't even flinch at. Sports is really the only place within one of my shows where opinions are generally accepted. However in this instance, the anchor angered a viewer who supported a particular team. That viewer has since blown up our Facebook page, which in turn has invited other viewers to get in on the "argument". Fortunately for us, most of the viewers are supporting our anchor saying that he is entitled to his opinion.

So is there really no room for opinion in a newscast? And if the answer is no, is it truly possible for opinions not to somehow work their way in?

It's my opinion that opinions are always interjected into a newscast in some way. Now, I'm not saying that when I write a story I slant it one way or another. In fact, we strive to show both sides of every story in an equal way.

However, everything about my show in some way reflects an opinion - from the way it's stacked, to the way it flows together, to the very words that are chosen to tell the story.

Here's the bottom line: delivering the news is just like telling a story. Everything from the inflections of my voice to the facial expressions I'm making to the words I choose to tell you about my trip to the store make a difference.

So where do we draw the line? Obviously I'm not going to tolerate one of my anchors or reporters saying "I think he's guilty" about someone who's been arrested on murder charges. That would be ethically wrong. But should we be banned from saying "I don't agree with the way the playoffs are set up?"

One of the things we've found viewers like is when our on-air talent show their humanity. If we don't allow any opinions at all, that humanity is lost. But in allowing our anchors to express themselves, we risk angering at least one person.

So are we damned if we do, damned if we don't?

Maybe as journalists we should just go back to the basics and address our ethics. We should ask ourselves if voicing our opinion about a particular subject, story or person will jeopardize our integrity and hurt our credibility. If the answer to that question isn't clear, maybe we should avoid it.

We have to remember that journalists don't have a voice. It's not our job to tell people what we think.

It's our responsibility to give the people a legitimate voice.

Letters to Hubby

Mi amor,

This may sound like an overused cliche, but I love you more than anything. Marrying you was the best decision I've made. So I've decided to start writing you love letters at least once a month to thank you for all the great things you've brought into my life.

We've been together for nearly three years, and been married for almost three months. It feels like a lifetime.

Two weeks ago when my Papa died, you kept me grounded. If you hadn't been with me throughout that week, I would probably be dehydrated from all the tears I would have shed. You were my rock.

Even in the toughest of circumstances, you can make me smile. I hope you never lose that ability and that I am always susceptible to it.

I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

Love Always,
Ashton

10 Unprofessional Questions I'd Like to Ask the President

Interviewing the President of the United States is every reporter's dream gig. There's so much you could talk about, but for the sake of professionalism you always stick to the basics.

But what if you got to interview the President outside the realm of the journalistic ethics? What would you ask?

I've put together a list of 10 of the questions I'd never dare to ask but not-so-secretly want to know about the POTUS.

1. When you get a booger or a wedgie, what do you do to get it out without being photographed?

2. What's one silly thing you do that you hope no one ever finds out about?

3. What's your favorite room in the White House? The Oval Office doesn't count.

4. What's the weirdest, craziest thing you're afraid of?

5. What's the craziest thing you've ever done to get a girl's attention?

6. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

7. Who's one celebrity you've been dying to meet?

8. What's the most embarrassing song you could be caught singing along to?

9. What's the biggest law you've ever broken?

10. Which reporter/member of the media do you dislike the most?


Here are some questions some of my coworkers and friends would like answered:
-Mr. President, would you have run the ball against Texas A&M?
-What would you REALLY like to say to your harshest critics?
-Boxers or Briefs? Pepperoni or Cheese? Beach or Mountains?


What non-political questions would like to ask the President?  

Belatedly Thankful

This week has been emotionally exhausting.

On Tuesday morning, I got what is arguably the most devastating phone call I've ever gotten in my life. It was an expected phone call, but just because something is expected doesn't mean it's easy.

I was in the shower when it came. I had woken up earlier than I needed by about 30 minutes and for once decided to go ahead and get up.

I got out of the shower and saw that I had two missed calls from my Mema's numbers, one voice mail and a text message from my mom. I checked the voice mail, assuming it was something about Thanksgiving. I was wrong.

I can't count how many tears I shed this past week. I can't describe the sadness I felt. I can tell you that the only way I made it through was because of the people I surround myself with on a daily basis. This post is for them.

Thank you.

I've been very lucky in my lifetime to not lose any close family members. That changed this morning.

I've spent a majority of the morning wiping my eyes and blowing my nose. I don't know how to deal with this, so I'm turning to what has helped me in every other difficult situation I've been in - writing.

My Papa wasn't an easy man to get along with. In fact, sometimes I wondered if we argued more than actually talked. But there are a lot of good things I'll remember about the 26 years we spent together.

"I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth."

You were full of wise cracks. Even when you reached that stage where you were doing good just to catch your breath, you'd never miss an opportunity to throw one of those sayings I'll always associate with you into a conversation.

You taught me how to whistle, albeit not very well and never as good as you. And to this day I still wish I could wiggle my ears like you could.

Remember that time you leaned too far back in your chair at the kitchen table just to prove to Mema that you could and flipped it over?

Little red caboose,
little red caboose,
little red caboose behind the train.
Smokestack on its back,
coming 'round the track,
little red caboose behind the train.

That's still one of my favorite children's songs. I still like playing checkers, and riding through cotton fields -- but I don't think I've climbed up in a cotton trailer since the last time I did it with you.

There are too many memories for this blog, so for now I'll just leave it at this:

See ya later alligator.

Monday Motivation

Because we all could use a little motivation sometimes.

Measuring Success

I like lists. From to-do lists in my planner to how-to lists online. Thanks to Yahoo, I read a lot of lists -- how to get a flat tummy, how to land that promotion you want, the worst jobs for stress, etc.

One of my coworkers shared this article on her Facebook last week about the eight things remarkably successful people do, and I have to say that I didn't really agree with it, mainly because it leaves no room for personal achievements outside of the workplace.

If you type in "measuring success" in Google, you'll get more than 55,000,000 results. You can find strategies to determine if your small business is successful, if you're utilizing your social media sites successfully ... and the list goes on and on with news articles and blog posts.

If you look up the definition of success, this is what you'll find:
success
noun 
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
 2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
3. a successful performance or achievement.
4. a person or thing that is successful.

If you look in the thesarus, this is what you get: favorable outcome.

It seems to me that everyone measures success differently -- my theory is supported by the millions of search results on google and the varying definitions in the dictionary. So I decided to look at my own life and career and make my own measure-of-success list, and my list is very simple.

Yep. That's it.

Step 1: Ask yourself this question - "Am I happy?"

If you answer yes, consider yourself successful. If the answer is no, find something to do that makes you happy and start over.

Simple right?

Whoever said life has to be complicated?

Behind the Scenes: Election Madness

We are two days from Election Night 2012.

Two days.

*Deep Breath*

I've been preparing for this election for two weeks, and I still don't feel like I'm ready.

I worked for more than a week on putting the graphics together. Then another 3 days on gathering candidate and amendment info and putting it together.

It's my first major election, although there are very few local and/or state races.

We're also in the middle of sweeps. This week is also the National Peanut Festival.

Whoever decided to name November as a ratings book needs a good kick in the pants.

I may not make it out of this week unscathed.

Character to Watch: Captain Hook

We already know how much I like Once Upon a Time, and to say I was excited to learn the show would be introducing Captain Hook this season would be an understatement. But now that Hook has been introduced, I find myself in a love-hate relationship.

And it's all because of this scene:

I wanted so badly to add you to my list of favorite characters, Hook. But you had to go and mess with Rumpelstiltskin, and just be a jerk in general to boot.

Yes, I know that Rumpelstiltskin is bad. Some may even call him evil, but even though you spend most of the episode trying to figure out what he's doing, there's never a question as to why Rumpel is the way he is.

And now I've found out that Hook played a part in creating the path Rumpelstiltskin is now walking.

So I'll love to hate you, Hook... so long as you don't mess with Rumpel again, although I fear that will ultimately happen.

The Other Side of the Story

A few weeks ago I posted a video of a news anchor standing up and calling out a viewer who sent her an email that attacked her weight. Since then that video has gone viral. The anchor has even appeared on CBS News This Morning promoting her anti-bullying standpoint.

But there's another side to this story. There are those out there who would call this anchor the bully, or at the very least question her journalistic ethics.

When first confronted by the possibility that this anchor may in fact have turned into a bully over one email, I scoffed. I told myself, these people just don't understand what it's like to get countless emails and calls criticizing everything you do or say. But the possibility made me think.

As a producer, would I have given one of my anchors more than 4 minutes to chastise one viewer over an email they received? Not likely.

I think so many journalists reposted and liked this video because in all honesty it's what we wish we could do, and given the chance we all would do it without hesitation. But that doesn't change the fact that journalistically, what this anchor did was not ethical.

I find myself asking how a producer justified giving up four minutes of their show over hurt feelings. Sure, they preface the tirade by saying it's bullying prevention month, but the segment only devotes 30 or so seconds to actual bullying. Instead, this anchor talks about how hurt she was by this one email.

So why this email? I have a hard time believing it's the first mean viewer feedback she's gotten, and I'm sure someone has referenced her weight before now. If not, she should consider herself lucky. My anchors, reporters and even producers get a constant stream of rude emails, phone calls and actual snail mail. You read it, choose whether you want to respond to it, and then you move on. End of story. Never would it cross my mind -- seriously, anyway -- to call out our viewers on the air.

Do I believe this anchor should be upset over the email she received? Absolutely.

Do I think she handled the situation correctly? Not exactly.

Do I still wish I could have four minutes to give our mean viewers the what for? Without a doubt.

Would I ever do that? Definitely not.

When we give in to our critics, those people who only contact us to cast stones, we become no better than them, sacrificing our journalistic integrity in the process. And if you lose that integrity, you lose all credibility, and without credibility a journalist is worthless.

We should never let our critics determine our worth.

Pin Tested, Ashton Approved

I'm always on the lookout for hair tutorials. Having naturally curly hair that doesn't like to cooperate, especially when I decide to wear it curly, I am always on the hunt for the next big thing when it comes to hair tips.

And let me tell you, this one right here WORKS.



I did do a couple of things differently - mainly because I do have naturally curly hair and have already developed a few tricks of my own.

First off, you'll notice that she didn't separate her hair into sections. I always have to separate my hair into at least two sections- even when I'm just straightening it.

Secondly, not all of my curled sections were an inch wide. Anyone with naturally curly hair knows that curls are not uniform. Some are big, others are small.

Also, I used the 1/2 inch iron instead of the one inch. The curls were a little tighter and lasted longer, whereas with the one inch the definition just wasn't there for me. I ended up with waves instead.

Here's my finished product!

Perspective

There are many things in life you don't want to experience. There are so many situations you don't even consider, thinking "That could never happen to me." But then it does, and you're forced to change your way of seeing.

I've never given much thought to suicide, other than to think it a cowardly, selfish way out. But I've never actually been personally affected by someone's decision to end it all, and I've learned that changes everything.

This week, one of my family members tried to kill themselves. They were unsuccessful, but that doesn't change the impact.

Suicide, whether it's successful or just an attempt, is incomprehensible to me. How can life be so bad, so negative that you feel like there's no place for you in it? When does death become the only option? What causes that dark place you can't escape from?

Maybe I've just been lucky. All my life I've been surrounded by caring, loving, supportive people who've done nothing but lift me up. But I don't think luck has too much to do with it. You see, I choose to only invite those types of people into my life. Sure I have to deal with negativity and pessimistic, doom-and-gloom people, but they aren't the people I choose to be with. In fact, I only deal with them on an as-needed basis.

And try though I might, I cannot bring myself to feel pity or sympathy for someone who commits or attempts to commit suicide. I'm saddened by the situation in that someone reaches the point where they feel they have no other choice. Furthermore, I hurt for the family and friends who have no idea what they should say or do or where to go from here.

But mostly I am disturbed, and I don't know that I will ever truly get over it. Out of the many life-changing experiences I've gone through, this has been the most thought-provoking and reality checking of them all.

It's that phone call you never expect, that text message that causes your jaw to literally drop in disbelief. You spend hours just contemplating why. And you're never satisfied with the answers you come up with. There is no rationalization that makes the situation better, and if you're like me and can't wrap your head around the concept that things can be so dark or so terrible that suicide is even considered in the first place, you end up feeling slightly guilty about the way you feel.

In the end, all you can do is hope for brighter days. For the victim, for their families, for their friends.


If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts or displaying suicidal behavior, there is help out there. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is open 24-hours a day, 7-days a week. Don't wait until it's too late. Call today. 1-800-273-8255

Ode to Newsroom Callers

I know there are perfectly normal, intelligent and nice people who watch our news.

However, they are not the people who call our newsroom.

Instead, we get the crazy, mentally ill and downright mean...

Those viewers who feel entitled in criticizing how we dress, what stories we choose to report on and even our wrong weather forecasts...

Those residents who want nothing more than someone to yell at, or who don't know how to use a phone book or Google...

The viewers who are unable to distinguish between a newscast and a commercial break...

The creepy sports stalker...

Please stop calling.

No, really.

We don't like you.

Taking a Stand

Watch this and remember it.

Bullying comes in many forms, including letters/emails/phone calls to television stations. Us newsies are people, too.

Bravo, Jennifer. I hope this message goes viral and helps raise awareness of this growing problem.

The Truth About Producing

We recently had a producer/reporter position open up at my station, and while I haven't been directly involved in the recruiting process, whenever we do bring someone in for an interview I get to kind of assess their potential.

Usually that assessment is pretty standard: they take a writing test, and I describe the duties of whatever job they're applying for. When I'm concluding my quote-unquote interview, I always ask, "Do you have any questions?" If they do, it's usually along the lines of clarification, or they ask about money and where a good place to live would be, maybe about the area if they're not from close by.

Earlier this week I oversaw a writing test and then had some one-on-one time with a potential candidate. The test part typically takes an hour, and the interview part doesn't last more than 15 minutes if that. After I described the job, I asked the obligatory "Do you have any questions?". This is what she asked: What do you find is the most challenging/difficult part of being a producer? My answer probably scared her...

I love producing. Other than magazine layout, it is my dream job and perfectly suited to my talents. With that being said, I truly believe that producers have the toughest job in the newsroom.

As a producer, you are responsible for everything that's in your show, regardless of if you pulled it from the Associated Press, a national news network or one of your local reporters handled the story. If something airs wrong or incorrect information is put out over the air, it falls back on you. Other than your director, who's only looking at the technical aspects of each story, yours should be the last eyes on a story before air time.

Time is your worst enemy. Either you have too much content and not enough time to fit it all in, or you're running out of time to get all of the pieces of your show produced. Deadlines are not flexible. Once you're on the air, you're out of time. And your time management skills aren't the only ones you have to be mindful of -- Reporters can either make or break you when it comes to the actual timing of your show and getting content into your show.

Being a producer means constantly thinking about your overall product. It's being flexible and going with the flow, even when stories are falling apart or something huge blows up right at news time. It's about knowing when to give an extra 30 seconds here and take 15 there. It's about relationships -- with the reporters, anchors, meteorologists and sports guys. It's knowing your audience, their tastes and interests, even those little things that get them all fired up. It's about vision and knowing how you want your show to look on air.

Make no mistake.
Being a producer is stressful.
You either love it or hate it.
There is no in between.

Wedded Bliss

Just a few photos from before and after the ceremony taken by family and friends.

For a sneak peek at my wedding day bliss, check out our photographer's blog post:

http://cherokeespiveyphotography.com/2012/09/ashton-chris-september-15-2012/

Soapbox: Bad News is Good News?

This past week was a rough news week. We've had so many sad and depressing stories, it's nearly impossible not to let them get to you.

In one day alone, we had a multiple-victim shooting, police standoff and a fatal car accident in which the victim was trapped in her burning car.

On that day, I posted a status that read: "Shooting, standoff and now a person is trapped in a car that's fully engulfed in flames. I'm gonna need for this day to end already. Sheesh."

The whole intention of the status was that too many bad things had happened in the day and it needed to end so nothing else horrible would happen. However, not everyone took it that way and I got a kind of condescending comment about how the people involved in all three of those incidents was surely having a worse day than me.

Really? You think I don't know that? As a journalist I am acutely aware of all the bad shit that's happening in my viewing area, not to mention the rest of the country and elsewhere around the world. It's part of my job.

Another day this week, a 4-year-old boy was fatally mauled by a dog. On yet another day, three teenagers were killed in a terrible car accident. In both of those instances, my reporters ran into opposition. I can understand not wanting to talk about it, but is there really any need for rudeness?

What people fail to understand is that these are the type of stories we don't like to cover. The situations are always awkward, and we are well aware of the fact that we're intruding. But it's our job.

There seems to be this idea that journalists thrive on this type of carnage, but that's a misconception. Sad stories about someone's loss are not our idea of a juicy story. The 'bad' news we'd rather cover is corruption, scandal - something that actually takes a little bit of investigative work.

So the next time you blast a member of the media for being insensitive, remember that they're just doing their job and chances are they don't want to be in the middle of this sad situation just as much as you don't want them there.

How Real Brides Accessorize

Shower Fun

I know I've been kinda M.I.A. lately, but there are only 14 days left until the wedding and there's a lot going on ... mostly in the way of showers. Here's a picture summary of my first 2.

My mom and me at the first shower.

 My lovely hostesses.

Coca-cola theme

 

 George was experiencing wedding fever.

My future mother-in-law, me & my mom.

Shower #2

 With my two lovely hostesses.

 My mom and aunt.