The following is an approximation of what is arguably the most awkward phone call I have ever taken at work. It should be noted that it is also a condensed version as this conversation lasted at least 10 minutes.

Caller: "I was calling about a story y'all did a story on identity theft."

Me: (trying to remember the last time we did one) "Do you remember when you saw it?"

Caller: "It wasn't that long ago. Maybe a couple weeks."

Now we're going to fast forward a little bit because the process of actually finding the story, which aired all the way back in October (go figure), lasted at least 5 minutes...

Caller: "The woman y'all interviewed is my wife. (pause) Well, she was my wife. Anyway, she's gone back to her first husband and is using a different name now."

Me: "Are you accusing her of stealing someone else's identity?"

Caller: "No. She's using her maiden name now."

Me: "That's not illegal."

Caller: "Oh. Well, when she was with me she was using a different name."

Me: "Sir, people change their name all the time. It isn't illegal."

Caller: "Oh. Well, I just thought y'all'd want to finish your story."


Me: "And what would the story be?"
(What I was thinking - The story we did 7 months ago?!)

Caller: "Well, she went back to her first husband and has a different name now. And she used a different name when she was with me."

Me: "Sir, that isn't a story. Unless she stole that identity from another person and used it to defraud her and/or you out of money, we're not interested. The original story was that she was a victim of identity theft - not her marital issues. Did she defraud you or anyone else?"

Caller: "No."

Me: "Well, sir, I'm not really sure what you want out of us."

Caller: "Well, I just wanted to tell y'all that she wasn't with me anymore."

Me: (completely at a loss for words) "Oh, ok. Well, thanks for calling, but there's a meeting I need to be at that's starting now without me. Have a good day."

There was no meeting.